OMG So get this... its a wednesday... its 1:10 in the afternoon and im not at work! I fucking love it. Yeah i swore sorry about that. But it just feels great, i woke up at like 12:30 after sleeping so much, i dont even know how i managed to sleep that long but i feel incrediable today. This weekend i have saturday and sunday off and i have BIG PLANS, Really Big Plans. Im not going to say what yet though, So haha to all you people, Have a great Wednesday Everyone, See Ya!

Not much to say today... I almost punched rich in the face today and church was very strange, i didnt find what i wanted, i guess i will try again next sunday... Night

so hows it going everyone? im doing good again today, go me... but yeah so the second interview for this job went good i hope, the interviewer seemed fairly happy with my answers so thats good. Work also went really good today, i only worked 3-9 so it was short, but i got like 5 projects i needed to get done done today, It was a great feeling. And i found out what church i am going to on sunday, so im looking forward to going but im scared. Rich, by the way rich is my therapist incase i havnt said that before, that im searching for what i truely believe in, and that its one of the things i need to do to beat what im going through, i cant be better without first learning who i really am. also my best friend chad, who you will prolly hear a lot in this journal got off work so that he could go with me so that i would have someone there with me so i didnt feel alone. Which i greatly appricate him for, he truely is my best friend and i dont know what i would do without him helping me through all this and doing anything he can to help me. Well i need to work all day tomorrow and im tired, i think this has been my longest post so far, thats right go me i rock

Today was a wonderful day! and thats all, Im doing 1000% better and i love it every moment! Good night everyone.


PS I got a second interview for a really good job! and talking to rich today was awesome.

Well im having mood swings, my therapist says it will take time to get used to the pills, imfeeling happier now then i did before.... as many of you know I do not Believe in God, but something is calling me i have this strange feeling like i should and that i need to see what i am really about and what i really believe in. I am planning on going to church on sunday but it frieghtens (spelling?) me beyond everything. Should i really be scared? i dont know but i am.... as for today.. not so good but i am not going into details... good night everyone

This is fucking stupid, i dont want to do this

Well today was my first meeting with my therapist. It went well i talked to him for about 2 hours. I called into my second job in order to go, but thats fine. He told me that ive built up to much and dont talk to anyone, and that i needed a way to vent at the end of each day, So he told me to do this. Every night before i go to sleep im suppose to sit down and wright out what happened throughout the day. So tomorrow i need to go get my perscriptions, im going to be taking some anti-depressants and im also getting sleeping pills because only sleeping 2-3 hours a night is unhealthy, come to find out now. so i will try to keep up to date. but for now i am going to eat and lay down, my head is killing me and ive been depressed all day. i dont know why im just in a down mood. Take it easy everyone